Triggers of a foster child

We were at the farmers market when I figured noticed it. Our foster child was about 6 at the time and I could see them scanning the group of homeless people near the gazebo. Constantly looking, wondering if any of them were their biological mom.

That night they were irritated more than normal, which was common, because when you come from homelessness, and addiction as a foster child seeing homelessness and addiction is a reminder, every day that someone out there picked drugs over you. When we first adopted them, it wasn’t like it is now. We live in the downtown area, but it was insulated, and something we could prepare for. We prioritized places that felt safe, and planned ahead for places like the library that aren’t safe.

Now that isn’t the case. There is no place that is safe, and free from triggers. No park, no library, no shop, no mall, no grocery store, no bike path. Every where we go there is a trigger of homelessness, and addiction. Every face is a person who like their biological family, picked drugs over everything else. When people are passed out and you have to make sure they didn’t O.D. How could they not say “I wonder if my mom is still alive?” “I wonder how many times she has been like this.”

I wish I could explain how much I worry as an adoptive mom. How much I wonder what the human cost is, of having children immersed in this kind of culture where addiction is rampent, and enabling programs take center stage. I wonder if having all of these children exposed, constantly to people strung out, addicted, with needles in their arms will eventually lead to them being the same. From the D.A.R.E. program, to studies on generational addiction the data suggests that the answer is yes, the more you are exposed to drugs, the more dangerous it is.

But in this conversation about humanitarianism, we seem to only look at one side. The unhoused. We focus on their needs, wants, and their diseases, because they are venerable and visible. But I hope after reading my story you see there are people who are just as venerable, just not as visible who deserve a life that isn’t a constant reminder of hard places they came from, and could potentially lead them down a path addiction. Please consider a better balance between the needs of the homeless, and the needs of society.